I feel like at times I have nothing going on, but as I am sitting here, taking a break from my every day thoughts, I realize I have so much on my mind and so much going on.
Trying to be 'social' (in real life) while being broke
Trying to manage my health
Trying to manage my mom's health
Etc, etc, etc.
One thing I didn't put on this list was something that is really important to me... but you might be wondering: "if this is so important to you, why isn't it on your 'list'?"
Well - to be honest. I am so fucking uninspired. And at first, I thought I was unmotivated in addition to not feeling the passion in my pit (lol, like that one?), but in reality, I am in a rut. This, by the way, is also the easiest yet hardest post to write right now - true life. [EDIT: I started writing this post over a year ago… still hard]
I have a post coming up where I talk about how comparison is the root of (creative/artistic) evil (but can also spark that fire if you use it the right way). If you haven't guessed by now, that 'one thing' not on my list is my blog/website/brand/business - however you want to categorize it. I honestly came to the point where I was like "you know what, this isn't what I am supposed to do - I should just slowly back away from it". But when I thought of that, I felt uneasy - like something was telling me that was the dumbest fucking choice to be making.
In between the pity party I threw myself and making various arduous trips to the hospital to visit my mom (she's home now, all is okay on the home front) I kept thinking that there has to be something more. That's when I decided to learn more about the law of attraction and manifestation. Now, before you exit, hear me out. I still don't know the whole ins and outs of this whole new world; I am still learning, but I am intrigued.
What if you could have it all? What if it was as easy as 'thinking' it into reality? Well .. this whole new way of thinking has opened up some new opportunities for me. I'll explain.
Like I said, I still have A TON to learn about manifesting and the law of attraction - it sounds simple, but sometimes something SO simple can be really difficult. But as I read posts, watch videos, and listen to podcasts, something clicked in my head. Took a while, but it clicked.
How about starting with removing the negative thoughts and replacing them with their counterparts - for every negative, replace with a positive. And I also have been journaling, or at least trying to, either every night or every morning. If I cant journal in the morning during the work week, I try to say 5-10 things I am grateful for OUTLOUD. And then I do a few stretches. It just helps me set the tone for the rest of the day.
Also with the negative vs postitive thinking I mentioned, it also helped me open up to things that were right in front of my face but never would have considered before. I am trying to see things in a different way now.
For example, at work, I subscribed to a work-related daily email that sends articles about the industry I work in - promotional products. Sounds riveting. But the start of EVERY article is a really interesting, inspiring, and motivational quote. Some (the majority) are almost too good to not jot down. So I started to send the emails to myself, send them to my boyfriend as they relate to him, and write them in my work notebook every morning. Then I realized - WHY NOT BUILD OFF OF THESE AMAZING QUOTES?! Duh - content, RIGHT THERE.
Another example: I am a WW (that's code for Weight Watchers) member and I go to meetings every Sunday morning. The meetings are literally a life line for me - when I don't go, I feel like a lost puppy (I am assuming pretty shitty because that's how I end up feeling lol). If you have already a preconceived notion about the meeting - let me just say YOU ARE WRONG. We aren't talking about the foods we love and can't eat and all the tricks we do to trick the scale, or "if you don't eat dinner after 7 pm on Saturday the night before a weigh in and then don't drink water the morning of, you won't be up on the scale." Actually, that kind of talk does come up in meetings, but that isn't what we focus on. We focus on some pretty fucking awesome real life shit - like struggles, the feelings of giving up, the amazing support the group is for every one of us.
Anyway, I digress. My point is, we talk about some shit that is GOLD. Literal GOLD. And I want to share that ish with you. Because it's important, and you're important, and so am I.
(If I was in HS right now, my English teacher would be saying I have too much in the body of my paper and I am talking in circles, but guess what Ms. M, we aren't in AP English and this is my freaking blog and I'll do what I want.)
If I haven't lost you yet - phew! You really are amazing. <3
Okay, so, my point is - there are things all around me that can/will inspire me. And it's not because your or I am lazy, unmotivated, don't care, don't feel like it .. we are just lacking (for just a short moment) the spark that we had in the beginning. The fire in our pits. I just have to keep reminding myself to stay open and ready at every moment to accept what comes my way - because we can find what we are looking for in anything in our world. And sometimes it's right in front of us - in an email or at a weekly WW meeting, or wherever it may find you.
PS - you’re amazing and keep going. ❤